Transitrants April 2012

April Transitrants 2012

I defy you to be unhappy on your commute while listening to salsa music. #impossible #feeltherythm #transitrants #caltrain

Seriously. Nothing turns the morning crap commute around like some bouncy salsa music. Try it. It works. I have a hard time thinking of a better way to snap out of the crap mundaneness of the commute than some ass shaking salsa music.

I don’t care how old you are, that level of nose picking should be reserved 4 a dark, private room; not a CalTrain! #caltrain #transitrants

2nd knuckle! Up to the second knuckle this woman dug for at least 3 minutes! Is there no decorum or sense in this world! Are we all losing any sort of propriety and snese of shame. Remember when people used to be mortified by the thought of someone seeing them pick their nose like they were digging out a gps tracker in Total Recall.

I love sitting next to a lesbian while waiting for the train and comparing notes on the women that walk by. #transitrants #caltrain

We both gave a thumbs up to the sexretary looking blonde but she wasn’t too keen on the petite asian. She looked to ‘fragile’. I wonder how violent real world lesbian sex is that the fragility of a partner is a major determining factor. I must research further…

 Just farted on the CalTrain. I’m officially part of the problem now. #transitrants #caltrain

I’d like to officially apologize to the north bound baby bullet. I had mexican food the previous night and was dozing off. It was particularly awful and I apologize profusely…and can’t promise I won’t do it again.

Dude in Pomona tshirt, black slacks and rubber shoes with toes reading Proust. Taking everything I have not to strangle him. #transitrants

Has anyone ever in the history of ever read Proust in public without it being a desperate attempt to show how ‘deep’ they are? Ladies, if you see a guy reading this book he will be unemployed and on your couch forever. Cheap philosophy doesn’t pay the bills.

Honorable Mention

Oh good. Delay and a packed train. The Bart trains are as busted as the escalators. #transitrants #BART

People that stand on the upper level of the CalTrain weird me out. What’s he up to? #transitrants #caltrain http://ow.ly/i/AuiN

Ah. He works for Zynga. That explains it. #transitrants #caltrain #zyngaevilempire http://ow.ly/i/AumD

No muni for ages so I guess I’ll be late. Thanks for wasting my life SF Muni. #transitrants #SFMuni

Guy with a Zynga backpack and slippers was sitting below me on train. Didn’t pitch a match into his fro. #personalvictory #transitrants

Thank you slow ass Barters. I love missing my shuttle because you scum can’t be bothered to walk at a reasonable rate. #transitrants

This emerygoround is full of insanely relaxed people. #transitrants

Blackberry Playbook is improving my productivity on my commute. Not sure I like that. #transitrants #emerygoround

Percentage of functioning escalators at Embarcadero Bart: 33%.
Percentage of commuters surprised at that low number: 0%
#transitrants #BART

Nothing worse than a dirty hippy desperate to make eye contact and start talking at me. #transitrants #BART #TakeAShower

1 woman and her small purse is taking up 3 seats on the EmeryGoRound. Selfish much wench? #transitrants #emerygoround

Made a kid on the train laugh with my Walken impersonation. Now I can nap in peace. #KidHadNoIdeaWhoWalkenIs #transitrants #caltrain

Muni: Folsom to 2nd and King (3 stops) = 9 minutes. 2nd and King to 4th and King (1 stop) = 16 minutes. #transitrants #caltrain

Fucking tourists slowly dragging their bags down the stairs made me miss my train by inches. Go to hell you lazy jerks. #transitrants #BART

1 guy, 1 backpack, 5 seats. #transitrants #emerygoround #asshole

A little rain and public transportation grinds to a halt! WTF! #transitrants #skyisfalling

The EmeryGoRound is packed. No less than 4 girls are wearing giant hooker hoops in their ears. I think I need Valtrex now. #transitrants

I don’t even want to know why that woman has toilet paper sticking out of the back of her pants… #transitrants #BART

Speaking of love, next to Steamies bar is Elite Massage. Pass it on the train and smile every time. #BlacklightEwwww #transitrants #caltrain

If you are coughing uncontrollably on the CalTrain you better be on the way to the hospital. #transitrants #caltrain #ContagionLARP

When a cute girl at the CalTrain smiles at me I don’t have to try to think of a shitty line. It’s good to already be in love. #transitrants

No Internet connection! WTF! This isn’t Oakland! #transitrants #caltrain

I am inches away from stabbing this guy on the EmeryGoRound for his Chinese food. #transitrants #emerygoround

 

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