TransitrantsBannerPNG A lot of snoring on this BART car. #jealous I have an insane amount of jealousy towards the people that can snooze peacefully on the cacophonous tube of rage that is the BART. Now the CalTrain…that’s another story.

Holy shit this EmeryGoRound smells like sweat and feet! Wtf was going on in here! #transitrants I don’t want to cast aspersions or anything but the lovely woman driving this particular shuttle had a big smile, her usually impeccable hair was askew and she was humming along with the music. I’m not saying there was torrid sex that had taken place in this shuttle before we got on but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did; not surprised, just grossed out slightly more than usual.

Why does everyone at Balboa Park just fuckin mosey the whole time?! It’s like the sloth stop or something. #BART Balboa is a transfer point composed entirely of sloth people. It’s very important to get off at a transfer point quickly so the next group can board and not miss the transfer. How can I see the same people day after day exit the train by 1 step and then stop in front of the door, look around like they just got stepped onto the moon and be utterly confused?! You’ve been here before! Just take 3 steps out of the way and then look around like a slack jawed idiot so the rest of the poor people can get on the damn train.

“Let’s shut down the main Bart entrance at Montgomery for maintenance.” “Should we fix the escalator on the other one?” “Nah” #BARTboard I’m still trying to figure out how decisions are made in the BART construction department. Let’s take one of the busiest stations and reduce it from 8 stairwells to 3 for a few weeks. Good plan guys, as if BART isn’t bad enough now we get to enjoy the urine stench while waiting in line to escape the BART dungeon.

Millbrae station smells like chocolate chip cookies. Again. Good lord. The Its-it factory is right by the Millbrae BART/Caltrain station in Millbrae. Every morning is smells like oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and makes me ridiculously hungry and sets my daily eating trends off on the wrong foot. If you don’t know what an Its-it is you’re probably a communist and should move to Cuba immediately.

Police activity at Powell station means I get to sit at Balboa Park smelling this guy’s coffee. Grrr. #gonnacuthim #transitrants Why every BART station doesn’t have a Peet’s coffee is beyond me. It seems like an easy slam dunk to me. Just make whatever chain drops the coin for BART rights clean out the trains every night. Seems like they’d go for it and it would prevent me from stabbing people for their java in the morning.

Of course the guy with the lunch that smells like wet garbage has to sit next to me on the Bart. Just as there are rules against noise of a specific decibel level there should also be rules over how stinky you can be in public and especially how repulsive smelling of food you can bring in a public, confined area. If you bring food that smells over a certain amount of Olfs (unit of smell, look it up) we all get to tear off your noise and shove it down your throat…or fine you, whatever is easier.

Is everyone at West Oakland BART insane? Clinically and utterly insane? Here was the count that day: Shirtless, dreadlocked man playing a washboard and singing made up hymns; pretty sure Tupac wasn’t mentioned in Amazing Grace. Grown woman sitting INSIDE a shopping cart smoking while surrounded by her stuff strewn about the floor. Man studiously filing his nails while sitting on top of a book on a bench. Woman talking to the stuffed bird in a cage she is evidently taking to the airport.

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